The sacredness of parenting teens
Coaching people in transition is such a privilege. For those in mid life, parenting teens comes up again and again. It helps to remember how we felt during those (often turbulent) years in our own lives. I wrote about it in my poem "Human Values and Teenage Humans" a few years ago for the Wellbeing Forum. In this I recall what it was like for me and as a reminder that the often mundane aspects of parenting are, in themselves, profoundly important in the life of a human being. How often, in the midst of picking up the trail of debris left behind as our teens move around the home, do we recall that it is an honour as a human being to be able to provide loving constancy and a holding space for teenagers during the ebbing, flowing and unfolding of our relationship as it develops from Parent as Coach into one of Being to Being and away from Parent and Child.
I love Gretchen Schmelzer's writing and insights. Here is her blog "The Letter your Teenager can't write to you".
This one particularly rings true as I hold a space for my son and daughter through their teens whilst they weave their own threads in the warp and weft of their lives that will in time become the fabric of who they are in the world. It is so key that we, as parents, give them "shoulders to stand on" and to, as Gretchen says, constancy, patience and the resilience and presence to hold on to the other end of the rope.
I feel that there is a need for us to gather Parents of Teens together to share and support each other during these times. I sense that there is much more support for parents when our children are young. With the loss of elders and community within our culture and a dominant, power over paradigm culture, authentically sharing the joys and the challenges can be such a gift.
Get in touch as I am planning to hold a space for Parents of Teenagers to come together in the South Devon area. To share and to learn from each other. In the mean time, check out Fearless Parent - some great links, inspiring articles and sharing of knowledge and information.